we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
