if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
