Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
