I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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