Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
