I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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