dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
