I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
