Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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