i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
