Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
