dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
