I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I came so hard my ears popped.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
