Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
