You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
