He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
