I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did i walk over a car last night?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
