Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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