Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
