Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there was a trapeze. enough said
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
