Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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