Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
