i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
