I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
