It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
