it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
