like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
