12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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