Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
