just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize