someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
