Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
