i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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