we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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