his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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