Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
