if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
