Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
