Dual....:-)
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
