i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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