Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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