I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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