So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
