Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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