i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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