Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
