I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
