its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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