It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
