Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
there's paper in my vomit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
